Some Men Really Make Me Think

Let me tell you all...my brain has been working overtime in the last few days. Alan decided to walk back into my life. Two months ago when he vanished from my sight, I remember telling one of my closest friends that I didn't feel like it was over. Even with that feeling in the pit of my stomach, I decided to let go because I was sick and tired of pushing and pulling men into my life! I know I wrote about how my gut told me he was the one, and then Alan discarded me like a dirty pair of underwear. The thing that troubled me the most was that my gut was wrong, and I had finally learned to listen to it.

Anyway, a few days ago, Alan started by talking to me on facebook. The method of communication didn't surprise me since most of our three month dating was done via texting. Before I could say anything, he told me that he knew he was a dick. From the get go I could sense that Alan was a smart guy ;) I thought that it was only going to be one of those small talk conversations, but right away he asked if he could see me again. Long story short, Alan ended up calling me and talking for an hour about us and how it could work. I told him exactly how I felt...its amazing how this man can make me feel so comfortable when talking about my feelings and views!! I have been sooo scared to do this in my past.

I know what you all are thinking....he stood me up more than once. I deserve more. Why should I give him a second chance? I have went over all of this in my head a thousand times!! And Alan stated most of it to me on the phone...I deserve more than how he treated me, he doesn't know how to make it up to me, he did stand me up. He knows he was in the wrong. Its all about what he is going to do about it. The bottom line is that my heart skips a beat every time his name pops up on my phone. He makes me smile. Don't worry...he is going to have to put some effort into winning me back, and remember, nothing really has happened yet.

All I know is he is REALLY making me think!

xoxo,
Kiki