Too Late

There have been two guys in my life that have just missed the boat when it comes to me. The first one was in high school. We were friends first, and the moment I started to look at him in a different light, I introduced him to my two best friends. Of course my friends played him down, but then both dated him within the next year. Instead of looking at any of them in a negative light, I thought that I wasn’t special enough in his eyes to stand out from other girls. It just wasn’t right. I few years later after he had dated almost every one of my friends, my mom said something that wasn’t occurring to me. She said that he was just trying to get closer to me. Sure enough soon after he confessed his interest in me. I love this man from the bottom of my heart, but by the time he told me, I wasn’t there anymore. I have to admit that I would have way back in high school. He just missed the Kiki boat. Well, it has happened again. Lets call this guy Mike. I met Mike 4 years ago, and I was in no spot of even thinking about any male in a romantic sense, but we became friends. There was a moment about 3 years ago where I thought maybe we could be more, and I was trying to keep an open mind about it! Mike is a good man that would do anything for me. However, the moment I started looking at him differently, he hooked up with my friend. My brain went right to “I’m just not stand out enough for him.” I moved on, and I can’t look at him in a boyfriend way. Well, now he is single and trying pretty hard. I have to admit I’m getting pretty uncomfortable, and I don’t like it because Mike use to be the guy that I could tell anything to. He was the person that I could chill with and never worry about the funny business. Now, I don’t think I can be in a room alone with him. Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t we all be friends??? Haha Kiki