The night after the lovely Clark stood me up, he started talking to me using Match.com’s IM service (which takes me back to my college days by the way). Clark told me that he was sorry but he was visiting his grandma the night before. Yes…he pulled the grandma card :) What I really wanted to say would have went something like this…”So visiting your grandma means you cannot text, call, or email to just let me know? You actually think that was a good move…douche-bag?” However, I decided not to pull the b#@$%^&%* card. I replied by asking how is grandma was…hahaha…I am passive aggressive! Clark continued to talk about randomness, but I was not about to ask him out again since I was the one who asked initially. He finally asked when he was going to get to see me…and I said, “I don’t know, you tell me.” I, of course meant it in a sassy tone, but he probably didn’t pick up on that. Long story short, we planned to meet the next night. I put the ball in his court…he was to pick the place, the time, and let me know the details the next day. I just felt like he needed to make up for the blow off the night before!!
The next afternoon Clark text, and we set up to meet at 8:30 at a sushi place by him. As the night progressed, he kept pushing back the time…8:30 became 8:45…8:45 became 9:00. I’m not dumb; this was also the night the Lakers were playing for the championship. Don’t get me wrong, I want a MAN that actually schedules his life around his team’s games (this means he is straight in my book, which lately I have been having a hard time attracting!). However, this wasn’t impressing me since he stood me up two nights prior, and he wasn’t just coming out and telling me why. By 9:10, we had finally met. My first impression was his pictures on match weren’t the “real” Clark if you know what I mean ;) It wasn’t bad, but I look at my pictures, and I look like them! I don’t want my date to be disappointed when a super model doesn’t show up at their table. I’m finding out that a huge part of attraction for me is how a man presents himself. Things that are standing out to me are energy levels, posturing, eye contact, etc. Whoever I am meeting, I know I have a welcoming presence. I don’t care how nervous you are…there is no reason to not smile and be inviting!! I can tell Clark has an introverted personality, and his energy level is extremely lower than mine. It got to the point that when I was talking, his face would be completely blank…no emotion at all. I want a man that is present, not necessarily in agreement just present! Clark is nice, but I think he is probably on the site because socially he does have problems meeting women.
Then, it ended with us splitting the bill :( I’m not one of those girls that is all about men picking up the tab, but after everything, it was just crappy! First, he stood me up. Then, he kept pushing the time back. He also made me drive to him, and he walked to the restaurant! Plus, he took the leftovers home…haha! To put it mildly, Clark is cheap…haha! Every date is a learning experience! I just hope I didn’t tickle his fancy because he sure didn’t tickle anything on me…lol!
Just so all my readers know...I'm going home on vacation for a couple of weeks. There will be no writing blogs, but you never know I might go on a date with a Midwest boy while I'm there ;) However, i do have possible candidates for when I return!!
xoxo
Kiki
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
All These Men But No Dates :(
I've had an interesting past week! I have connected with several men, but for various reasons, I haven't ended up meeting any of them. There is a total of five men that I have been emailing for the past 2 weeks, and each of them are completely different. I'm trying to figure out what I like and what I don't like. Since these men are extremely different, I feel like they all could help me in some way!! Don't get me wrong, I do have my favorite. However, I have already learned that the best guy in emails could be the worst man in person :(
Lets start with Marcus....When Marcus and I started emailing, his subscription to match was almost over, so we started talking via email. He works in TV production, and he was really busy with the televising of the World Cup. This being said; he has postponed our coffee date twice now. I have to give him credit though...he has always kept me informed. However, I still believe that if a man is into you, he will make time for you!!! But I have to remember, he hasn't met the wonderful me in person yet ;) How can he really be "that" into me?!?!? Marcus isn't dead...just delayed...stay tuned!!
Then, there was Elliot!!! Elliot cracks me up just thinking about him...HAHA! He emails me first...stating he is moving to Silverlake from Tuscan in the near future. His email was nice, and he was very clear that he liked to get to know someone before meeting them. He wanted to email and text before he moved out, so when Elliot got here, we already had the base set up. At the time, it seemed logical, and I have been willing to try anything (as long as it is safe of course). Long story short, we exchanged phone numbers. A couple days past and I decided to text him first. I kept it casual with "Hi Elliot, its Kiki from Match! Good morning!" He responded with "Kiki?" Come on...how many Kiki's are on match that one man is talking with????? I came back with "I made that much of an impact huh? haha." (I have been showing my sassy side these days;)) All he had was "Long day." "And scene" is what ran through my head. Oh no...three days later at 1AM Elliot text "Hi." I couldn't let this one go, so I say "so you remember who I am!" He comes back with "Yes, sexy!" Of course, I follow with "so how drunk are you?" Elliot goes on the defense with "Zero. Why?" I proceed to tell him how he just called me Sexy at one o'clock in the morning after 3 days of not responding to me. I mean...come on!! In his profile, Elliot states how he wants an intelligent woman, so I called him out! His response is CLASSIC!!! Are you ready for this..?...? He replies with "OK Bye." All I can do is laugh! I wouldn't be surprised if Elliot tried again, but for now, that's all the hilarious commentary I have :)
Next is Clark, and the first time I viewed his profile, I chose not to contact him. It came down to one sentence that he wrote..."I have been told that I am sexy." What type of man really writes that about himself? I want a humble man, not a self absorbed man! He ended up IMing me one night, and we had a nice conversation. I still didn't contact him though; he just wasn't jumping off the screen. He emailed me a few days later with one word..."Hey!" I have realized that he is a man of few words to put it lightly! If I would have gotten this when I first started Match, I would have deleted him so fast! But...I have realized that a man can be completely different on screen than in person, so I gave him a chance! After about three emails back and forth, I still didn't know his name...lol! I finally asked for it, and he responded with "Clark, but names aren't that important:)" We set up a date, and I gave him my number. The ball was in his court. I picked the day, and he asked for my number. The day came and past, and he didn't call or email. Basically, I got stood up:(! That's the first time that has ever happened to me, but surprisingly, I was ok with it. God knows what he is doing, and maybe, I wasn't suppose to meet him! I am interested to see if he ever contacts me though. Don't worry...I will let you know!
The next two are the ones that are standing out!! First, there is Graham. He is an ADULT!! He runs his own construction/engineering company, and my gut tells me, he is a complete gentlemen!! I find myself looking forward to his emails...just like I was with Bucky at the beginning! Even though Bucky didn't work out, I was truly excited about him!!! Anyway, Graham wants to meet, which is great! The problem is my schedule....My sister is coming out to visit and then, I'm going home for vacation. I'm trying to fit in all these men before my sister comes because I can't leave my sister for a date...that is crappy of me!!!! I know that I will be writing more about Graham; it just might take awhile!
Finally, there is Brett!!! I found Brett randomly, but as I was looking through his pictures, I saw him in a t-shirt of my NFL team from my home state!!! He is a Midwest boy, and I am a sucker for them!!!! For the most part, Midwest people have the same values, and they are just good people!! (Plus, Brett is extremely attractive to me!!) I emailed him right away, and I have to say, I probably came off a little chezy :( I guess it didn't matter because he emailed me back!! He is from my home state, and he is going home about the same time I am. The problem I have with Brett is that I feel like he is just being friendly. Plus, I find myself wanting to meet him, which means I actually like him! Usually when this happens, I screw it up somehow...haha! He is six years older than me, but I don't want him to think I'm a young, dumb girl. I just want to meet him, so he can see who I really am! Is that too much to ask? I think not!!
So... many men, but no insight this entry. I have a feeling the insight will be what follows!!
xoxo,
Kiki
Lets start with Marcus....When Marcus and I started emailing, his subscription to match was almost over, so we started talking via email. He works in TV production, and he was really busy with the televising of the World Cup. This being said; he has postponed our coffee date twice now. I have to give him credit though...he has always kept me informed. However, I still believe that if a man is into you, he will make time for you!!! But I have to remember, he hasn't met the wonderful me in person yet ;) How can he really be "that" into me?!?!? Marcus isn't dead...just delayed...stay tuned!!
Then, there was Elliot!!! Elliot cracks me up just thinking about him...HAHA! He emails me first...stating he is moving to Silverlake from Tuscan in the near future. His email was nice, and he was very clear that he liked to get to know someone before meeting them. He wanted to email and text before he moved out, so when Elliot got here, we already had the base set up. At the time, it seemed logical, and I have been willing to try anything (as long as it is safe of course). Long story short, we exchanged phone numbers. A couple days past and I decided to text him first. I kept it casual with "Hi Elliot, its Kiki from Match! Good morning!" He responded with "Kiki?" Come on...how many Kiki's are on match that one man is talking with????? I came back with "I made that much of an impact huh? haha." (I have been showing my sassy side these days;)) All he had was "Long day." "And scene" is what ran through my head. Oh no...three days later at 1AM Elliot text "Hi." I couldn't let this one go, so I say "so you remember who I am!" He comes back with "Yes, sexy!" Of course, I follow with "so how drunk are you?" Elliot goes on the defense with "Zero. Why?" I proceed to tell him how he just called me Sexy at one o'clock in the morning after 3 days of not responding to me. I mean...come on!! In his profile, Elliot states how he wants an intelligent woman, so I called him out! His response is CLASSIC!!! Are you ready for this..?...? He replies with "OK Bye." All I can do is laugh! I wouldn't be surprised if Elliot tried again, but for now, that's all the hilarious commentary I have :)
Next is Clark, and the first time I viewed his profile, I chose not to contact him. It came down to one sentence that he wrote..."I have been told that I am sexy." What type of man really writes that about himself? I want a humble man, not a self absorbed man! He ended up IMing me one night, and we had a nice conversation. I still didn't contact him though; he just wasn't jumping off the screen. He emailed me a few days later with one word..."Hey!" I have realized that he is a man of few words to put it lightly! If I would have gotten this when I first started Match, I would have deleted him so fast! But...I have realized that a man can be completely different on screen than in person, so I gave him a chance! After about three emails back and forth, I still didn't know his name...lol! I finally asked for it, and he responded with "Clark, but names aren't that important:)" We set up a date, and I gave him my number. The ball was in his court. I picked the day, and he asked for my number. The day came and past, and he didn't call or email. Basically, I got stood up:(! That's the first time that has ever happened to me, but surprisingly, I was ok with it. God knows what he is doing, and maybe, I wasn't suppose to meet him! I am interested to see if he ever contacts me though. Don't worry...I will let you know!
The next two are the ones that are standing out!! First, there is Graham. He is an ADULT!! He runs his own construction/engineering company, and my gut tells me, he is a complete gentlemen!! I find myself looking forward to his emails...just like I was with Bucky at the beginning! Even though Bucky didn't work out, I was truly excited about him!!! Anyway, Graham wants to meet, which is great! The problem is my schedule....My sister is coming out to visit and then, I'm going home for vacation. I'm trying to fit in all these men before my sister comes because I can't leave my sister for a date...that is crappy of me!!!! I know that I will be writing more about Graham; it just might take awhile!
Finally, there is Brett!!! I found Brett randomly, but as I was looking through his pictures, I saw him in a t-shirt of my NFL team from my home state!!! He is a Midwest boy, and I am a sucker for them!!!! For the most part, Midwest people have the same values, and they are just good people!! (Plus, Brett is extremely attractive to me!!) I emailed him right away, and I have to say, I probably came off a little chezy :( I guess it didn't matter because he emailed me back!! He is from my home state, and he is going home about the same time I am. The problem I have with Brett is that I feel like he is just being friendly. Plus, I find myself wanting to meet him, which means I actually like him! Usually when this happens, I screw it up somehow...haha! He is six years older than me, but I don't want him to think I'm a young, dumb girl. I just want to meet him, so he can see who I really am! Is that too much to ask? I think not!!
So... many men, but no insight this entry. I have a feeling the insight will be what follows!!
xoxo,
Kiki
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Nice Guys Still Finish Last
Three days after Bentley occurred, I made plans to meet for coffee with yet another gentlemen. With the info I got off match, I was hesitant in setting this up. Even though I am aware that there are so many aspects that make up a person, a RED FLAG goes up when I see the word "ACTOR!" From experience with several individuals, I cannot be in a healthy, romantic relationship with an actor. They are too selfish for me, and I end up putting twice as much effort in, to make up for their lack of effort. I know it's a stereotype, but so far in my life it holds true! However, since I am trying new things when it comes to dating, I decided to go into this with an open mind. He could be my dream guy!!
I got to the coffee shop before Ashley arrived, and I have to say that I'm getting the hang of this first date thing. There still are a few butterflies because I am human, but I am becoming extremely confident. Deep down I know that when I actually meet "the one" I will be a hot mess inside and out :) Anyway, he walks in, and the first thing that ran through my mind is "he's so tiny!" I mean he is 5'8" max and super skinny. I feel fat around him, and I'm 5'5"; 130lbs. Trust me, I've been over this in my head hundreds of times...I know physical appearance isn't the most important thing! But...when I can't see myself kissing him, that's a problem. I want a man that could protect me and make me feel safe...I want a MAN! And of course, Ashley is perfect in every other way! Conversation is extremely easy, and I feel comfortable with him. He isn't a crazy actor (at least not that I know of yet). As Ashley walked me to my car, he asked me out again. I said yes because frankly I just enjoy him company. Then, as I was driving away, I realized that I had already placed him into the friend category. Our second date also went great. I wore heels so I could see if I could get over this "tiny" problem that was occurring. We were the same height with heels, and I still felt fat:( The next two things that Ashley did makes me want to kick myself for not finding him attractive in a romantic way!! He showed up at my performance the next night by himself. This is huge to me because I want a man that supports me more than anything else!!!!!! He was there, and he wanted to be there! Then, two days later he text wishing me luck on my recital with my students (yet another passion of mine...more support!). He was doing everything right, but I just don't see him that way. This is proof that so many layers have to line up to make it click! I believe that the majority of people either ignore all these layers or don't even know they exist. You can click with almost everyone in one certain layer, but people mistake this as the ultimate compatibility. One of my friends asked her mother once how she picked her father as her mate. Her mom said that he fit all the important things she was looking for. I think that's what I'm doing. I have things that I will not budge on, but there are others that would just be nice to have.
Maybe I did the wrong thing, but I emailed Ashley stating that I thought he was GREAT...just not what I was looking for. I told him that I really wanted to be friends, but I understood if that wasn't possible. My gut tells me not to settle! I settled for a man for two and a half years of my life, and I refuse to do it again!
...and the search continues...some day soon I will be writing about only one man instead of a new man every entry ;)
xoxo,
Kiki
I got to the coffee shop before Ashley arrived, and I have to say that I'm getting the hang of this first date thing. There still are a few butterflies because I am human, but I am becoming extremely confident. Deep down I know that when I actually meet "the one" I will be a hot mess inside and out :) Anyway, he walks in, and the first thing that ran through my mind is "he's so tiny!" I mean he is 5'8" max and super skinny. I feel fat around him, and I'm 5'5"; 130lbs. Trust me, I've been over this in my head hundreds of times...I know physical appearance isn't the most important thing! But...when I can't see myself kissing him, that's a problem. I want a man that could protect me and make me feel safe...I want a MAN! And of course, Ashley is perfect in every other way! Conversation is extremely easy, and I feel comfortable with him. He isn't a crazy actor (at least not that I know of yet). As Ashley walked me to my car, he asked me out again. I said yes because frankly I just enjoy him company. Then, as I was driving away, I realized that I had already placed him into the friend category. Our second date also went great. I wore heels so I could see if I could get over this "tiny" problem that was occurring. We were the same height with heels, and I still felt fat:( The next two things that Ashley did makes me want to kick myself for not finding him attractive in a romantic way!! He showed up at my performance the next night by himself. This is huge to me because I want a man that supports me more than anything else!!!!!! He was there, and he wanted to be there! Then, two days later he text wishing me luck on my recital with my students (yet another passion of mine...more support!). He was doing everything right, but I just don't see him that way. This is proof that so many layers have to line up to make it click! I believe that the majority of people either ignore all these layers or don't even know they exist. You can click with almost everyone in one certain layer, but people mistake this as the ultimate compatibility. One of my friends asked her mother once how she picked her father as her mate. Her mom said that he fit all the important things she was looking for. I think that's what I'm doing. I have things that I will not budge on, but there are others that would just be nice to have.
Maybe I did the wrong thing, but I emailed Ashley stating that I thought he was GREAT...just not what I was looking for. I told him that I really wanted to be friends, but I understood if that wasn't possible. My gut tells me not to settle! I settled for a man for two and a half years of my life, and I refuse to do it again!
...and the search continues...some day soon I will be writing about only one man instead of a new man every entry ;)
xoxo,
Kiki
Sometimes Bicycle Rides Suck
After Mr.Ten gracefully "peaced out," I decided to get right back on my bike. Let me tell you, I wasted no time at all....the very next day I had a lunch date with an interesting man I'll refer to as Bentley. Since I know myself, I had a little pep-talk with my neighbor before meeting my latest "match." When I actually find a guy that catches my attention (which isn't all that often), it always throws me a bit when they "dismiss" me. This feeling of not being good enough for them floods over me. I know sometimes this could be true, but the more I live and learn, I think it's more about me being too much for them (or at least that's what helps me cope). My neighbor, who also is a member of Match.com, reminded me that every date I go on is another opportunity to meet a new friend. Of course, none of us are really doing this just to find friends, but it's true! Why wouldn't anyone want that...plus, all relationships should start and end with friendship!!
OK...on with the date....I went into the date knowing Bentley worked in investments and owned his own business. When I walked into the restaurant and saw Bentley, I had two observations immediately. First, all his pictures on match had been photo shopped. I mean if that's what you look like, that's fine!! Just don't lie about it! Be proud of who you are, not what a computer button can make you. Second, his energy wasn't focused if that makes any sense at all. It was a little ADD in a way. Throughout lunch, I realized that he couldn't have a down moment. There always had to be a topic being discussed, which could be nerves...I guess. Then there was the issue of Bentley's car. He parked directly in front of the restaurant, and he put quarters in the meter three times during our meal. What I really wanted to to say was "I get it; you have a nice car. You want to see my Chevy Lumina?" I just don't think that would have gone over very well...haha! I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes my gut just knows when a person doesn't fit into my world. Bentley doesn't fit....his energy doesn't fit. After a week of not hearing from him, I assumed he felt the same way. Oh no...I am never that lucky! Bentley calls exactly a week later. I have also learned that men want what they cannot have...which is why the ones I don't want always want me. Don't worry...I won't be returning that call anytime soon:)
Well...maybe the next bicycle ride will be better!!
xoxo,
Kiki
OK...on with the date....I went into the date knowing Bentley worked in investments and owned his own business. When I walked into the restaurant and saw Bentley, I had two observations immediately. First, all his pictures on match had been photo shopped. I mean if that's what you look like, that's fine!! Just don't lie about it! Be proud of who you are, not what a computer button can make you. Second, his energy wasn't focused if that makes any sense at all. It was a little ADD in a way. Throughout lunch, I realized that he couldn't have a down moment. There always had to be a topic being discussed, which could be nerves...I guess. Then there was the issue of Bentley's car. He parked directly in front of the restaurant, and he put quarters in the meter three times during our meal. What I really wanted to to say was "I get it; you have a nice car. You want to see my Chevy Lumina?" I just don't think that would have gone over very well...haha! I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes my gut just knows when a person doesn't fit into my world. Bentley doesn't fit....his energy doesn't fit. After a week of not hearing from him, I assumed he felt the same way. Oh no...I am never that lucky! Bentley calls exactly a week later. I have also learned that men want what they cannot have...which is why the ones I don't want always want me. Don't worry...I won't be returning that call anytime soon:)
Well...maybe the next bicycle ride will be better!!
xoxo,
Kiki
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