It's Hard to Let Go

Ever since I had my freak out moment with Shane, I have been trying to not care too much about anything in my personal life. It's hard for me not to take anything too serious when it comes to my heart. I am aware that when I like someone, I focus ALL my energy on them until it explodes in my face...haha. (I've never thought about it, but maybe that is why I like fireworks so much.) About a week ago, I saw Shane for a second time. No matter how long I do this dating thing, I always find the build up to the second date the most nerve wrecking. I hope that the vibe is the same as the first date...that it is easy to start where we left off...that I look even better than the first date ;) Shane came over to watch the Golden Girls. He already knows how to get to my heart! And I mean he was actively watching the Golden Girls with me...I loved it!! We just fit together, and he makes it so easy. It was a wonderful night that I didn't want to end!!!

Then, life gets in the way. We both have a million jobs, and since he is a male, Shane doesn't really know how to do a woman and work at the same time. Remember...I'm trying to "let go, let flow." I am rolling with the punches, so the normal thing for me to do is make myself as busy as possible. It seems to be semi working until today. Another man from Plenty of Fish asked me to lunch, so I decided to keep an open mind and accept his invitation. Dale is a complete gentleman, but it was the dullest date I have ever been on :( I knew within thirty seconds... I wasn't physically attracted to him at all, and his hello hug was weak. That tells me his self confidence is lacking. There were so many awkward silences, and I wanted to be anywhere but with him. I realized today that it doesn't matter if Shane is going on other dates. A connection like the one we have is UNBELIEVABLY hard to find!!!!! Of course attraction can be found, but that with drive, intelligence, common bonds, timing, and understanding is very rare! The other night Shane asked me what I was so afraid of when it came to the topic of him and opening up. He was right for calling it out! There are no guarantees, but there are great possibilities!!! All I have to do is LET GO!!!!

Look mom no hands!!
xoxo
Kiki