Came with the Territory

When I first started this blog, I never really thought about things that I might have to deal with because of writing down my thoughts and feelings. I did it to help me deal with starting over and finding myself. Throughout the past four years, I think I have gotten every different reaction in the book from people who read it. Of course there are the ones that will support everything I do just because they love me! Then, there are the ones that give me advice on how I should be going about finding "Mr. Right." I greatly appreciate every word that comes out of their mouths!! However, I have learned that there is no right or wrong way. Yes, there are situations that are no good, but usually that has to do with respect in general. There are the people that think its crazy that my entire dating life has been published for the world to see. They also believe that any man will run really fast in the opposite direction when they find out about it. I look at it as this is apart of who I am, and if they love me, they will at least appreciate it. I realize that I haven't made all the right moves in the past four years. I have stayed to long and forgiven to easily. I have overlooked red flags and tried so hard to make up for the cookies that the current guy was not baking. Oh, and don't forget about the guy that had two mattresses and nothing else in his apartment...not my finest moment. However, I have learned so very much about myself! I have realized that I want the flutter!! I don't care if it takes me a life time, I need him to give me the flutters! I believe thats how it lasts. Also, being single means that you have so many options and opportunities! I'm not saying that staying single is my goal, but I am saying that no one should look at it negatively! I have said it hundreds of times that I believe that one should be 101% ok with being by themselves before they bring another individual into the picture. In my last journal before this blog, I wrote this in the cover to help me remember! "Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous, love is not boastful or conceited, it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offense or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth. It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love never comes to an end." I Corinthians 13:4-8 I believe every word of this!!! However, it is so hard to give that much of yourself to a person that has the ability to hurt you. My only answer is listen to your heart. I think about all the men that have hurt me in some way in the past. Yes there was tears and heartache, but I can truly say that I gave them my all. I can also say that I was never meant to end up with any of them. They were all pit stops along the way:) In time, I will get to my destination, and who knew this trip could be this entertaining!! xoxo Kiki